Of all the trees we could've hit, we had to get one that hits back.
Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.
Don't feel bad, I'm usually about to die.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with my news...check if I'm happy...
It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families.
I'm tough, I'm ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.
Every now and then I like to do as I'm told, just to confuse people.
Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.
Yes, frosting. The final defense of the dying.
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.
Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?
I'll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from 'almost extinct' to 'not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.' Will that make you happy?
I'm saying that I'm a moody, insecure, narrow-minded, jealous, borderline homicidal bitch, and I want you to promise me that you're okay with that, because it's who I am, and you're what I need.