Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.
So many books, so little time.
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.
The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.
I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself.
The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.