When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me."
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put "I love Mom" on the license plate.
I read one psychologist's theory that said, "Never strike a child in your anger." When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he's recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
Never lend your car to someone you've given birth to.
The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.
You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades. I've lost a total of 789 pounds. By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.
What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?
It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
I am not a glutton-I am an explorer of food.
There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food
Housework can kill you if done right.
Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.
Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.
It was a bitter moment for us. We weren't two mature parents. We were just two kids playing grown-up. We still needed Mommy and Daddy's permission, blessings, and money to survive.