When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me."
Never have more children than you have car windows.
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.