Quotes Tagged "humor"

There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.

Grown ups are complicated creatures, full of quirks and secrets.

So why in the name of Merlin’s saggy left —” “Don’t talk to your mother like that.

Well,” Tessa said, sighting along the line of the knife, “you behave as if you dislike me. In fact, you behave as if you dislike us all.” “I don’t,” Gabriel said. “I just dislike him.” He pointed at Will. “Dear me,” said Will, and he took another bite of his apple. “Is it because I’m better-looking than you?

He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more.

Sometimes, just saying that you hate something, and having someone agree with you, can make you feel better about a terrible situation.

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason

He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.

I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.

I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.

Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter could be said to remedy anything.

We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.

The love of books is among the choicest gifts of the gods.

You must admit I have a right to live in a pigsty if I want.

أحيانا أميل إلى قراءة الكتابات الخرافية، بالأمس عكفت ساعة على قراءة ميثاق حقوق الإنسان

Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Try not to have a good time...this is supposed to be educational.

It unscrews the other way.

I'm sorry. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain.