Wisdom doesn't automatically come with old age. Nothing does - except wrinkles. It's true, some wines improve with age. But only if the grapes were good in the first place.
He's so old his social security number is two digits.
Sometimes I feel that I'm not just aging . . . I'm decomposing.
My notion of a wife at forty is that a man should be able to change her, like a banknote, for two twenties.
Middle age is when your old classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald they don't recognize you.
It's a sobering thought: When Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
When I think of my dad as a little boy, I tend to think of him in black and white.
The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you'll grow out of it.
I don't generally feel anything until noon, then it's time for my nap.
The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always asked to do things, and you are not yet decrepit enough to turn them down.
It's an awful thing to grow old by yourself. My wife hasn't had a birthday in seven years.
I'm sixty-five, but if there were fifteen months in every year, I'd only be forty-eight.
Try to accept each other for what you are, and don't point out the fact that the hair he's losing on his head is now growing out of his nose - and his ears.
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
Middle age is when anything new in the way you feel is most likely a symptom.
There's one advantage to being 102. There's no peer pressure.
Middle age is when you have met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else and usually is.
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Actually, being sixty-five isn't so bad. As a matter of fact I rather like being called a sexagenarian. At this time of life it sounds like flattery.
