Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
Nothing can come out of an artist that is not in the man.
It takes no more actual sagacity to carry on the everyday hawking and haggling of the world, or to ladle out its normal doses of bad medicine and worse law, than it takes to operate a taxi cab or fry a pan of fish.
What men value in the world is not rights, but privileges.
God is a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.
Human life is basically a comedy. Even its tragedies often seem comic to the spectator, and not infrequently they actually have comic touches to the victim. Happiness probably consists largely in the capacity to detect and relish them.
Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later. For another thing, they die earlier.
A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes she were not.
If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.
The double standard of morality will survive in this world so long as the woman whose husband has been lured away is favoured with the sympathetic tears of other women, and a man whose wife has made off is laughed at by other men.
Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
To be in love is merely to be in a state of perpetual anesthesia: To mistake an ordinary young man for a Greek god or an ordinary young woman for a goddess.
Puritanism - the haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.
A Puritan is a person who lives in the fear that someone, somewhere, may be having a good time.
Time is a great legalizer, even in the fields of morals.
Time is a great legalizer, even in the field of morals.