I invented the cordless extension cord.
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
At one point he decided enough was enough.
Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.
I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'
I don't get up, get dressed, go out, and think, 'Okay, I gotta find eight jokes.'
If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.
What a nice night for an evening.