I’ll make Goyle do lines, it’ll kill him, he hates writing,” said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle’s low grunt and, screwing up his face in a look of pained concentration, mimed writing in midair. “I... must... not... look... like... a... baboon’s... backside.
I can't give you the white picket fence, and if I did, you'd set it on fire.
Don't wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. Chocolate isn't like premarital sex. It will not make you pregnant. And it always feels good.
I have been stabbed, shot, burned, bitten, beaten unconscious too many times to count, and even staked. None of those held a candle to the pain I felt at seeing his mouth on hers.
Many people could say things in a cutting way, Nanny knew. But Granny Weatherwax could listen in a cutting way. She could make something sound stupid just by hearing it.
I knew I could do it all this time,” said Harry, “Because I'd already done it... does that make sense?
The nuclear arms race is like two sworn enemies standing waist deep in gasoline, one with three matches, the other with five.
THINGS YOU NEVER HEAR: 'Please stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police.
If you're trapped in the dream of the Other, you're fucked.
I’ve met plenty of embarrassing parents, but Kronos, the evil Titan Lord who wanted to destroy Western Civilization? Not the kind of dad you invited to school for Career Day.
Money may not buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.
Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
Oh, dear God and baby Jesus in the manger, my eyes!” Dee shrieked. “My eyes!
As with most of life's problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation.
Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything.
His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad, His hair is as dark as a blackboard. I wish he was mine, he's really divine, The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.
How do you tell the psychiatrists from the patients in the hospital? The patients get better and leave.
When you're the only sane person, you look like the only insane person.
The only French word I know is oui, which means “yes,” and only recently did I learn it’s spelled o-​u-​i and not w-​e-​e.
If I ever meet myself,' said Zaphod, 'I'll hit myself so hard I won't know what's hit me.
