Although I was able to maintain a pleasant expression, I was mentally throwing up in her face.
I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.
You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.
Just give me a second. Attempting to give a fuck...Attempting harder to give a fuck...Sorry, there was an error; fuck not given.
Any fool can make a rule And any fool will mind it.
Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college. And I realize some of you may be having trouble deciding whether I am kidding or not. So from now on I will tell you when I'm kidding. For instance, join the National Guard or the Marines and teach democracy. I'm kidding. We are about to be attacked by Al Qaeda. Wave flags if you have them. That always seems to scare them away. I'm kidding. If you want to really hurt your parents, and you don't have the nerve to be gay, the least you can do is go into the arts. I'm not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
A well-read woman is a dangerous creature.
Iβve been drunk for about a week now, and I thought it might sober me up to sit in a library.
If I shot an arrow and thought about an ass, would it surprise you if it hit Erik?
Run first,' Shane said. 'Mourn later.' It was the perfect motto for Morganville.
I can't go on, I'll go on.
Is there any point asking what you're going to make me do on Sunday?' 'Not really.' Okay. 'Is there any point asking what you're going to do to me?' He grinned wickedly. 'Not really.' Fabulous. 'Does it involve the use of a safe word?' 'That will depend entirely on you.' Noah moved impossibly closer, just inches away. A few freckles disappeared into the scruff on his jaw. 'I'll be gentle,' Noah added. My breath caught in my throat as he looked at me from beneath those lashes, ruining me. I narrowed my eyes at him. 'You're evil.' In response, Noah smiled, and raised his finger to gently tap the tip of my nose. 'And you're mine,' he said, then walked away.
I've begun worshipping the sun for a number of reasons. First of all, unlike some other gods I could mention, I can see the sun. It's there for me every day. And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time: heat, light, food, and a lovely day. There's no mystery, no one asks for money, I don't have to dress up, and there's no boring pageantry. And interestingly enough, I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly offered to 'God' are all answered at about the same 50% rate.
Bad news, Harry. I've just been to see Professor McGonagall about the Firebolt. She β er, got a bit shirty with me. Told me I'd got my priorities wrong. Seemed to think I cared more about winning the Cup than I do about staying alive. Just because I told her I didn't care if it threw you off, as long as you caught the Snitch first.
The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.
We're not retreating, we're advancing in reverse.' --Skulduggery Pleasant
What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.
He f**ks even better than he looksβ, I settled on saying. Several heads turned. I didnβt care; I was pissed. βAnd that beautiful face is going to be clamped between my legs as soon as we get home, donβt you worry.
