God created man and then woman, but the atheist created himself.
What if the meek inherited the Earth and we had to defend ourselves from Martians?
Jesus was born on a bank holiday and died on a bank holiday. We can therefore assume that when he returns again it will also be on a bank holiday.
As the little boy said to the Sunday School teacher after being told the reason we are on Earth is to help others: "Then what are the others here for?"
It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it's the parts that I do understand.
Conscience gets a lot of credit that belongs to cold feet.
A New England conscience doesn't keep you from doing anything; it just keeps you from enjoying it.
Conscience: That which makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.
His clear conscience is a result of a poor memory.
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.
The world's shortest sermon: "When in doubt... don't!"
A Puritan is a person who lives in the fear that someone, somewhere, may be having a good time.
The service we render others is really the rent we pay for our room on Earth.
Coincidence is God's way of performing miracles anonymously.
I don't go to church. Kneeling bags my nylons.
I don't see why religion and science can't get along. What's wrong with counting our blessings with a computer?
There was never law, or sect, or opinion did so much magnify goodness, as the Christian religion doth.
One religion is as true as another.
His religion at best is an anxious wish, - like that of Rebelais, a great Perhaps.
Men will wrangle for religion; write for it; fight for it; die for it; anything but - live it.