Just because you're beautiful and perfect, it's made you conceited.
My love is pizza shaped. Won’t you have a slice? It’s circular, so there’s enough to go around.
My love is meatloaf flavored. I just wish my meatloaf was also meatloaf flavored.
What is called a reason for living is also an excellent reason for dying.
Beauty is a whore, I like money better.
The bounties of space, of infinite outwardness, were three: empty heroics, low comedy, and pointless death.
When all else fails, there's always delusion.
You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.
Children and dogs are the messengers of God some of us do not deserve them
To you, I'm an atheist. To God, I'm the loyal opposition.
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.
I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Everything not forbidden is compulsory
Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell.
Absurdity is the ecstasy of intellectualism.
Absurdity is one of the most human things about us: a manifestation of our most advanced and interesting characteristics.