Quotes Tagged "dark-humor"

Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.

I envy people that know love. That have someone who takes them as they are.

Résumé Razors pain you, Rivers are damp, Acids stain you, And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful, Nooses give, Gas smells awful. You might as well live.

What's the whole point of being pretty on the outside when you’re so ugly on the inside?

People are sheep. TV is the shepherd.

I am often thought of as being remarkably bright, and yet my brains, more often than not, are busily devising new and interesting ways of bringing my enemies to sudden, gagging, writhing, agonizing death.

Whenever I read the term 'belief system', somewhere between my eyes and my brain, it becomes 'coping mechanism.

i wasted all of my outrage on my fucking religion. it should have been wasted on god- cut out the middle man.

The darkest hours bring the most light.

Proximity to normalcy is a nice turn of phrase; you ought do a needlepoint, frame it and shove it straight up your ass. Keep it there with the rest of your wisdom.

One hand was behind his back, and he held it out, presenting a bouquet of white and smoky purple lilies. “They’re straight from the underworld, by the way. They are everlasting. They won’t die.

So I heard the boom of my father's rifle when he shot my best friend. A bullet only costs about two cents, and anybody can afford that.

For 3 million you could give everyone in Scotland a shovel, and we could dig a hole so deep we could hand her over to Satan in person. (on Margaret Thatcher)

The Angel of Death is always a young person, or a group of young people, you'll begin seeing them left and right soon.

In 5-billion years the Sun will expand & engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes. Have a nice day.

I realized that success in most things depends on finding people stupid enough to volunteer to try doing them but smart enough to have a chance of succeeding.

kick me. what else is left? I NEED RAW EMOTION and you got two good stories that are getting stale.

If you removed all the arteries, veins, & capillaries from a person’s body, and tied them end-to-end…the person will die.

While art thrives on the blazing colours of scandal, literature blossoms on the dark soil of tragedy.