Never let other people bring you down let Jesus be the one who brings you down, because he knows what he is doing
Gabrielle chuckled, her dark eyes twinkling. “So he’s been after you, has he? Poor Etta, pursued by a sun priest offering to pleasure—” “Every nook and cranny,” Marietta interrupted dryly and Gabrielle tipped her head back with a throaty laugh.
I noticed Xander had subtly adjusted his posture. He slouched slightly to the side, let his head hang, and then looked up through his bangs to gaze at something in the middle distance. Uber James Dean. Xander managed to pull it off as if he was looking at nothing, just having deep thoughts about the far away adventures he would be having if he wasn’t stuck waiting for a flowered suitcase at Hopkins International. I casually let my eyes slide across the room. There had to be cute girls somewhere close at hand. Otherwise Xander wouldn’t have broken out his middle distance gazing Tyrone Power eyes.
I’m not aspiring to be someone else – If I’m me for the rest of my life then so be it
I put a chameleon on a red dildo... He blushed
Cause if you shoot a bullet someone dies. If you drop a bomb many die. You hit a woman, love dies. But if you say the F-word... nothing actually happens.
Come here, let me share a bit of wisdom with you. Have you given much thought to our mortal condition? Probably not. Why would you? Well, listen. All mortals owe a debt to death. There's no one alive who can say if he will be tomorrow. Our fate moves invisibly! A mystery. No one can teach it, no one can grasp it. Accept this! Cheer up! Have a drink! But don't forget Aphrodite--that's one sweet goddess. You can let the rest go. Am I making sense? I think so. How about a drink. Put on a garland. I'm sure the happy splash of wine will cure your mood. We're all mortal you know. Think mortal. Because my theory is, there's no such thing as life, it's just catastrophe.
When my mother passed away several years ago—well, wait a minute. Actually, she didn’t ‘pass away.’ She died. Something about that verb, ‘to pass away’ always sounds to me as if someone just drifted through the wallpaper. No, my mother did not pass away. She definitely died.
There is no greater power than that of a laugh and happiness is a force which can save a person from the horrors of the world.
It’s very difficult to appreciate when you’re doing it all the time in the business. The laughter means so much to people. I suppose at all times, but especially these days. It seems that life is more difficult. It has been for me, and God knows for Gilda. But I think for everyone, they’re looking for a little relief. I used to think, ‘Sure, to get relief, they get a laugh.’ But I didn’t know the laugh meant that much. Sometimes it’s the difference between going to sleep at night depressed and worried about how you’re going to make it; and going through with a little confidence that it will be okay, it will be okay. Cause laughing is good for you. It’s good for the liver. It’s for the soul. It’s good for your whole emotional equipment.
Some stories have to be written because no one would believe the absurdity of it all.
Where have all the Fembots gone?
Life is a comedy to which we are all crying
When I was in my single digits, I was subjected to the worst torture you can possibly inflict on a child: Catholic mass.
You can never talk religion on network TV. It makes too many people angry. You can talk about sex.
A lot of people come up here and they thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. He didn't help me a bit. If it was up to him, Cesar Millan would be up here with that damn dog. So all I can say is, 'suck it, Jesus! This award is my God now'!
A Christian telling an atheist they're going to hell is as scary as a child telling an adult they're not getting any presents from Santa.
Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.
The alchemy of time transforms everything into comedy. Everything. Even crucifixion.
From age sixteen to age twenty, a woman's body is a temple. From twenty-one to forty-five, it's an amusement park. From forty-five on, it's a terrarium.