One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
Never have more children than you have car windows.
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.