No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.
Never have more children than you have car windows.
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.