It's like, hmm, there's people with $2000 weaves that could have bought health care with that weave money. They don't have insurance. People want what they want. And I guess that is a reason we have this big credit card problem and a lot of these foreclosures.
Black people have been qualified to be president for hundreds of years. George Washington Carver could have been president. I could go on with a list of black men that were qualified to be the president of the United States. So the Obama victory is progress for white people.
Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.
I'm severely overrated. I'm just above a hack. That should be the name of my new DVD: 'Chris Rock: Slightly Above Hack'.
If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.
I'll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking.
Comedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.
A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.
If I find a comedy club where no one's camera works, I'll go.
I don't believe I can offend you in a comedy club. I don't believe I can offend you in a concert. A comedy club is a place where you work out material; you're trying material.
When I started out in comedy, it was common knowledge that it took about 10 years to get good. And that was okay because it took you about 9 years to get on television.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life.
No film critic's going to say it, but 'Madagascar 3' is better than 'The Artist.'
You don't need a critic to tell you people aren't laughing.
I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.
I have my own demons and dark moods. It's weird.
I have no idea what my best material is. Different people like different things. I'll say this: The political stuff gets the press, but the relationship jokes sell all the seats.
Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.
