The age of some women is like the speedometer on a used car - you know it's set back, but you don't know how far.
Pushing fifty is exercise enough.
When I think of my dad as a little boy, I tend to think of him in black and white.
She's too young for Medicare and too old for me to care.
When she told me her age I believed her - why not? she hasn't changed her story for five years.
Life begins at fifty, but so does bad eyesight, arthritis, and the habit of telling the same story three times to the same listeners.
When Julia Child was asked to what she credited her longevity, she replied, "Red meat and gin."
Once my wife gave me a wonderful birthday present. She let me win an argument.
When we're young we want to change the world. When we're old we want to change the young.
Remember when we used to laugh at old people when we were young? Do you recall what was so funny?
I wouldn't say someone is old just because his social security is in Roman numerals or because Mozart played at his senior prom.
If you think a lot of the comments made tonight are not funny, but are immature and tasteless, that's only because the sense of humor is the first thing to go.
I was going to take you out to lunch for your birthday . . . but you already are.
Book lovers never go to bed alone.
To make a long story short, . . . there's nothing like having the boss walk in.
To be a leader you need a lot of people dumb enough to follow.
No one leads the orchestra without turning his back on the crowd.
The whole world knows we have it made in America . . . made in China, made in Mexico, made in Japan.
The motto in the workaholic Silicon Valley is "Stop for lunch and you are lunch."
Christmas is over and Business is Business.