Turn your stumbling blocks into stepping stones.
Good judgement comes from experience, and experience - well, that comes from poor judgement.
The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death.
An outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace.
Children have become so expensive that only the poor can afford them.
A scout is a boy who dresses like a schmuck. A scoutmaster is a schmuck who dresses like a boy.
It appears there's a little too much chlorine in their gene pool.
Few mistakes can be made by a mother-in-law who is willing to baby-sit.
It takes about five years for a walnut tree to produce nuts, but this is not true of a family tree.
To encourage my little kid to eat I'd sometimes say: "Just pretend it's sand."
Sis, I've been wondering . . . On my birthday mom always gives me five thousand dollars. How much does she give you?
My kid asked if he could borrow ten dollars. When I only gave him five dollars he said, "Okay, since you owe me the other five dollars, we'll call it even."
A child prodigy is one with highly imaginative parents.
When I reprimanded my son for hair like Michael Jackson, he said: "I don't see the problem you wear yours like Michael Jordan."
Keep in mind ... to a dog you are family, to a cat you are staff.
Fear is the prison of the heart.
All fear is bondage.
Only your mind can produce fear.
There is no such thing as a little garlic.
Resentments are burdens we don't need to carry.
