Leisure time is when your wife can't find you
Golf and sex: Two things you can really enjoy without being that good at them.
I've always been well liked. I was so popular in school, everybody hated me.
There are no perfect people - except, of course, my wife's first husband.
Wit is far more often a shield than a lance.
He who laughs, lasts.
Little wit in the head makes much work for the feet.
When Columbus started out he didn't know where he was going, when he got there he didn't know where he was, and when he got back he didn't know where he had been.
From ghoulies and ghosties and long-leggedy beasties And things that go bump in the night, good Lord, deliver us!
A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.
Strange how much you've got to know Before you know how little you know.
When the 30-year-old lawyer died he said to St. Peter, "How can you do this to me? - a heart attack at my age? I'm only 30." Replied St. Peter: "When we looked at your total hours billed we figured you were 95."
Any fool can make a rule, and every fool will mind it.
The law locks up both man and woman Who steals the goose from off the common, But lets the great felon loose Who steals the common from the goose.
Life is a handful of short stories, pretending to be a novel.
There is no better exercise for strengthening the heart than reaching down and lifting up another.
Life is a jig saw puzzle with most of the pieces missing.
I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.
Literature is a power to be possessed, not a body of objects to be studied.
Good children's literature appeals not only to the child in the adult, but to the adult in the child.
