In the act of loving someone you arm them against you.
Man loves little and often, woman much and rarely.
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.
A husband always prefers his wife's mother-in-law to his own.
Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
If a man can remember what he worried about last week, he has a very good memory.
A man is never so weak as when a woman is telling him how strong he is.
Outside every thin girl is a fat man, trying to get in.
Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?
When you want really big money, you usually find yourself talking to people who didn't go to Eton.
We were awfully poor. But we had a lot of things that money can't buy . . . like unpaid bills.
Definition of the upper crust: A bunch of crumbs held together by dough.
The man who invented slow-motion movies got his idea while watching a Scotsman reach for a check in a restaurant.
By the time a man is rich enough to sleep late, he's too old to enjoy it.
Oboe - an ill woodwind that nobody blows good.
Harpists spend half their life tuning and the other half playing out of tune.
Anything which parents have not learned from experience they can now learn from their children.
A mother is a person who if she is not there when you get home from school you wouldn't know how to get your dinner, and you wouldn't feel like eating it anyway.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Love - a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.
