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love life inspirational humor philosophy god inspirational truth wisdom romance poetry death happiness hope faith writing inspiration religion success relationships life-lessons motivational time knowledge love spirituality science books educationThe Romantic vision of marriage stresses the importance of finding the βrightβ person, which is taken to mean someone in sympathy with the raft of our interests and values. There is no such person over the long term. We are too varied and peculiar. There cannot be lasting congruence. The partner truly best suited to us is not the one who miraculously happens to share every taste but the one who can negotiate differences in taste with intelligence and good grace. Rather than some notional idea of perfect complementarity, it is the capacity to tolerate dissimilarity that is the true marker of the βrightβ person. Compatibility is an achievement of love; it shouldnβt be its precondition.