The more you talk about it, rehash it, rethink it, cross analyze it, debate it, respond to it, get paranoid about it, compete with it, complain about it, immortalize it, cry over it, kick it, defame it, stalk it, gossip about it, pray over it, put it down or dissect its motives it continues to rot in your brain. It is dead. It is over. It is gone. It is done. It is time to bury it because it is smelling up your life and no one wants to be near your rotted corpse of memories and decaying attitude. Be the funeral director of your life and bury that thing!
The crowning fortune of a man is to be born to some pursuit which finds him employment and happiness, whether it be to make baskets, or broadswords, or canals, or statues, or songs.
Donât intellectualize Life. Not everything has a scientific, rational, logical reason to it. Beyond a point, Life is largely inscrutable. 2+2 does not often add up to 4 in Life and you canât find the answer to some questions â particularly to the why and why me questions! It is always what it is. Life does not happen because you planned it in a certain way. It so happens that sometimes your plans are in sync with Lifeâs plans for you. So you end up thinking â given your education and your economic power â that you are controlling your Life. But the moment Life throws you a googly, you are stumped! You are left clueless, numb and debilitated. Thatâs when you realize that surrendering to Life, humbly accepting what is and going with the flow is what intelligent living is all about! This realization is the key to Happiness.
If you reflect on Life, it has no meaning. You came with nothing. And you will go with nothing. In this time, you will acquire knowledge and experienceâŠyou may get fame and wealthâŠyou will build relationshipsâŠand blah and blah and blahâŠbut nothing â and no one â is going with you, when it is time for you to leave. So, is Life meaningless? Perhaps, yes. But thereâs another view too. The only option each of us has, since we donât choose to be born, is to bring meaning to the Life that we have been given. Simply, what you do is more important than what you acquire and own in your lifetime. Therefore, make what you do â to make this world a better place for the generations to follow â the singular focus of your journey while enjoying every moment of it. This is how you bring meaning to an apparently meaningless Life!
True enlightenment arrives the moment you understand the difference between your wants and your needs. When you awaken to this understanding, you will realize that Life has always been providing for you, caring for you, giving you all that you need. This is how you stop wanting anything, anymore and start living with what you have, with what is. This is how you learn to be happy despite your circumstances.
Life, at the end of the day, is a simple mindgame. This means, essentially, that you learn to control your thoughts, that you learn to be non-worrying, non-frustrated and non-suffering. Then, no matter what you are going through, you live a better, fuller, happy Life.
What others think of you, or what they say or do to you, is their business; not yours! They have a right to their opinions. And you must just let them be. It is when you try to change their opinion of you that you grieve â and often suffer. Instead, be unmoved by their choices, their utterances, and just be true to yourself. You will then be fearless and unaffected by all that is happening around you.
Once you understand the power of meditation, you donât even need to engage in it as a practice. You donât need to then set aside a particular time of the day for meditation as an activity. In that state, you are that; you are meditative in everything that you do. There is a mindful, immersive quality to your Life then. Surely, debilitating emotions and disturbing thoughts will come calling, but your awareness, your mindfulness, helps you to not pick them up. You see them, you feel them, but you let them pass. This discerning ability to choose wisely is the biggest gift that meditation delivers. This is what helps you to be happy despite your circumstances.
When facing a Life-changing crisis, donât expect your situation to turn around instantaneously. It wonât. So, prepare for the long haul. Nourish yourself. Meditate. Pray. Eat your meals on time and please eat healthy stuff. Exercise. Go for long walks. Goof off once in a while. Your being morose, or your worrying stiff, is not going to solve your problems. The situation will resolve only when the time arrives. Until that happens, you have to last, you have to survive. So, take care of yourself. Every moment. Every day.
Grief is an important emotion. Donât suppress it. Go through the process of grieving as long as you feel it is important and necessary for you to grieve. Donât let people tell you that to grieve is being weak or being depressive. Hardly. Choose your own way of expressing your grief. If you must cry, cry. If you prefer being silent, be that way. But whatever you do, remember that grief when carried for too long in you becomes a burden. Then it begins to cause your suffering. So, at some point, hold up your grief and examine it. Is it serving any Purpose? Is the process of grieving comforting you or is it making you feel miserable? The moment you realize the futility of clinging on to grief, you will set it down. This will set you free. You will then be happy despite the circumstances.
Adulting is serious stuff. Yes, it is cool to be independent and getting to do your own thing. But with freedom comes responsibility. Where you are not just responsible for taking care of yourself or earning enough to pay your bills, but you are also responsible for facing Life and dealing with its upheavals and surprises. There are no right or wrong ways to face Life. Everyone has to do what they believe they have to do at a particular moment and keep going. Eventually, you will figure out why what happened to you was part of your own myth unfolding. So, if you are a young adult and are up against a wall, keep the faith and keep walking. Doors will always open, the path will always appear...
Life is eventually about things, people, relationships, projects, opportunities money, health and even memories - all of them being taken away from you! Life is about constantly embracing new normals, it is about finding meaning, Purpose, beauty and Happiness in what is!
When you are wronged by someone, you have two options: either fight back or walk away. Now, if you can forgive and move on, walk way. But if you will grieve and suffer forever that feeling of having been violated and short-changed, fight. But donât fight if it will make you wallow in a maze of debilitating emotions â anger, grief, fear, insecurity, worry, hatredâŠsuch a fight that drains you of all your goodness, and which leaves you cold and numb, is simply not worth it. But if you donât fight the good fight, understandably, the cause will be lost. And thatâs sacrilege. So, the key is to practice detached determination. Fight with focus and strategy and fight calmly, happily! Fight with detachment â donât cling on to your desired outcomes, donât set deadlines. Simply fight. When you fight the good fight, with equanimity and a sense of Purpose, the outcome never matters. The fact that you stood up and fought does.
Apna Time Ayegaâ is perhaps a way to console yourself when you donât get what you want but you see all others around you getting âsuccess, fame and moneyâ. But wait! Whatâs wrong with having to toil longer for what you want and experience delays and denials while honing your creativity, your skills and your art? What is wrong with enjoying the process of doing what makes you come alive? Actually, it is this process, this journey, that counts more than arriving at some place, proving to someone or getting something! There is no right time in the future. This moment, now, this is the only time you have â because the past is dead and the future is not yet born. This is always the right time. So, instead of sighing and saying âApna Time Ayegaâ, flip the paradigm, say: âYehi Hai Right Time, Baby!
When you are confronted with many problems at the same time, donât be overwhelmed or emotional and attempt to solve all of them at the same time. You simply canât. Approach your problems with basic project management skills. Sort your problems into different buckets: A. which ones cannot be solved ever B. which ones cannot be solved by you C. which ones can be solved by you over time and D. which ones can be solved by you immediately? Obviously, go to work today on bucket D, while planning to schedule time and collaborations to address buckets C and B. Of course, learn to accept those in bucket A with humility and equanimity and move on. This is the only way you can focus sharply, be calm and find strength in a storm and be happy!
Your job is to set out on Lifeâs journey as a voyager, which you already have by having been born (an act that, well, happened beyond you!). Lifeâs job is to reach you to the shore, which it eventually will, but not before it has tossed you up and down and churned your insides several times over. So, donât sweat over anything. It is simply not worth it! Remember: your Lifeâs happening exactly the way it must. Train your mind to be non-worrying, non-frustrated and non-suffering. Be happy! Let Life take over, you simply go with the flowâŠ!
Like everything in life, it is not what happens to you but how you respond to it that counts.
It is never about who is right or wrong, it is about what is best.
The thrust of continuous action is the firewood which fuels motivation.