Quotes Tagged "humor"

If we were in a proper relationship and I did live with him and was officially committed to him, first thing I would have to do would be to leave.

Reva often spoke about 'settling down.' That sounded like death to me. 'I'd rather be alone than anybody's live-in prostitute,' I said to Reva.

Christ, I loathe women. But I can't get going on the other tack either. And you needn't blush and look coy, I never fancied you. I know what you got up to with Fritzie Eitel! No—but I'd have had old Wilfred if he'd asked me. What did old Wilfred do for sex? No one ever knew. Perhaps he didn't have any, and if so good on him.

The mind can't delete what the heart won't let go of.

When life's got you down, keep your head up... you can't see the ground anyway

laughing is good. so long as you are not insulting anyone.

guilt can kill someone in anything. it's better to apologize beforelate.

Destination seems to be far for the ones who dream big rather than the ones who stood firm and obstinate for their Passion

People are like bees. They're all workers who could be queens, with the right stuff, but once a queen-making has begun, it can't be reversed. A bee that's half way a queen can't turn back into a worker. She'd starve. She must keep growing and then she must leave.

I’ll be honest, Chancellor – revenge is the motivation for over half the decrees I’ve made.” – Dread Empress Sanguinia II, best known for outlawing cats and being taller than her

Please, do keep digging your own grave. I look forward to your splendidly inevitable demise.” – Dread Emperor Benevolent the First

Wow

Sometimes following your heart means going your own way, even if the path gets lonely and hard.

Of course, sir. There won’t be any screwups. Hell, Colonel, there are always screwups in any operation. Let’s just keep them within reason.

What's more nuttier than a field of nuts? A field of Nuts.

The Game is never Over, initials says G...O... for the next...

When craziness mixes with love, happiness, deviants and unicorns—you have to embrace it.

Hidden symbol of your past shows your destinatioon

Want to have a short phone call with someone? Call them at 11:55 a.m., right before lunch. They'll talk fast. You may think you are interesting, but you are not more interesting than lunch.

There is always time for another last minute