Quotes Tagged "humor"

I, the great and powerful D.S. will create a harem for all the women in the world!!!! For a woman, no greater joy exists in the entire universe than to fuck me, the ultimate sex symbol!!!

She’d rather make love to him then watch any movie. “We don’t have to. Did I do something wrong?” That made him turn to her. “Of course not.” “Oh. Then don’t you want to…” She trailed off, a blush rising. “Are you kidding me? More than anything.” His expression softened. “But, Maira, I don’t want to rush you, make you do something you aren’t ready for.” She stared at him. He was so pretty. Was he also stone-cold stupid? How could he think she wasn’t ready for it? She’d already thrown herself at him. Twice now, if he counted the kitchen disaster.

Was she on some sort of Candid Camera version of This is Your Sucky Love Life?

Can you…make it different this time?” “Different, how?” “Different position, different…something. I want to learn it all.” Whoa, pressure. When Maira’s genius brain wanted to learn something, she really applied herself.

One of the best lovers in Hollywood. What would a title like that encompass exactly? she wondered. Technique? Enthusiasm? Or was it more about equipment?

You’re a nosy sleuth like me because you can’t help it,” Alma said.

Stanley forced a smile to his lips at the memory of the onesided romance; it was silly, after all, a stupid childhood crush. Who’d fall in love with a fictional character? That was the kind of thing you laughed about as an adult. Or at least Harriet had thought so. He couldn’t quite do it, though. Couldn’t quite see it as a joke. It had felt too real, too raw and wild and fierce, for him to dismiss it even now. It was love, of a sort, stunted and unformed as it was. For a time, it had kept him sane.

She knew exactly how she ought to feel, for she was well read in our greater and lesser English poets, but the unfortunate fact was that she did not really like being kissed at all.

Megan stepping back let her glance switch from Alma to Isabel and return to Alma. No doubt about it, thought Megan. Created as much alike as any sisters ever had been, their resemblance started with their matching red-and-white polka dot blouses. Since she was a young girl, she had matched their eye colors to their different personalities.

Petey Samson gave the ladies an over-the-shoulder glance. He realized no doggie treat was forthcoming, even from Isabel who was usually the soft mark to hit up. He scratched his front claws to re-attack the sand.

Fine! He is being passive aggressive with me, and it's gonna backfire; I'm gonna be active friendly.

I worked in a grocery store my whole life, Honey-girl. I know what lonely housewives think of this.” “I meant the baby, Jerk.” “Attached to me.” “You think you’re cute, don’t you?” “Are you honestly asking me this? I know you’re not debating it.

I think you better hurry along with that French toast making, Stud. You know—before my fetus eats your face.” “It would be equally as delicious.

My head is in a world of hurt. My apartment is trashed. At the end of today, I could either be dating the girl who saves my family’s future or is going to be the ending of it. When did life get so damn complicated?

I’d lick you numb, Mariah. You have no idea the things I’m capable of.

Roger said, 'I don't know about having a shrink around all the time. Are you analyzing me right now?' Sophie rolled her eyes. 'How original. No, I'm not analyzing you. It'd take a whole team of shrinks to figure out your crazy ass, and I simply don't have the time or energy.

Without hesitation but with a sense of entitlement, he lifted my hand to his lips. He was gentlemen-like in every way... I don’t know why I wondered if it was an act or for real.

I know what party you’re talking about. I might have to swing through. Especially if you’re going to be there in a costume.” He winked and leaned back in his seat. “I’m going as a homeless person.” “Sexy.

Finally, Charlie gave up the hunt and placed (the puppy) back on the floor, dispatching fleas was not his idea of a romantic evening, unless you happened to be a twisted exterminator, he thought.

I didn't want to go to hell, but even the idea of reclaining my halo scared me because it would mean leaving Aly.