Quotes Tagged "humor"

If I convert it's because it's better that a believer dies than that an atheist does.

Your Excellency, I have no need of this hypothesis.

They ought to make it a binding clause that if you find God you get to keep Him.

He'd gone to church for forty years and was only getting worse. It seemed like this should tell God something.

I'm here to tell you, there ain't much forgiveness in that old-time religion. That particular savior was a mean son of a bitch. If you sinned, honey, he was going to get you, no doubt about it.

people don't get me it's more rule than exception God bless exceptions

And the news got worse. It appeared that there was this whole other person Jesus Christ whose birthday a lot of people tended to confuse with mine. I was personally outraged. It was a long time before I forgave the Lord for that.

The sight of her made him understand why he'd lost his faith in God.

She was satisfied with the answer God had given Moses from the burning bush when Moses had seen fit to question. Who are you? Mose asks, and God comes back from that bush just as pert as you like: I Am, Who I AM. In other words, Mose, stop beatin around this here bush and get your old ass in gear.

I had a passing thought; I wondered if God might have been drunk when He created me. Then it dawned on me--of course not! He was just God being God, and He knew exactly what He was doing and what the outcome would be.

You can't make a fan of everyone. Stay true to your story, characters, music, art or whatever it is you do and fuck everyone else who doesn't like it. Life isn't perfect.

If you can't enjoy what you have, you can't enjoy more of it.

Soccer forces life to move on. There’s always a new match. A new season. There’s always a dream that everything can get better. It’s a game of wonders.

I never had any doubts about my abilities. I knew I could write. I just had to figure out how to eat while doing this. [Cormac McCarthy's Venomous Fiction, New York Times, April 19, 1992]

Remember it... Lovers don't die rather they are killed

Never hurry, time is worth billion dollars. Pay respect to it.

This is how you get through life: duck.

All I do is lie, and that has made me immune to compliments.

It is easier to tell a person what life is not, rather than to tell them what it is. A child understands weeds that grow from lack of attention, in a garden. However, it is hard to explain the wild flowers that one gardener calls weeds, and another considers beautiful ground cover.

Some of us go full circle. Some of us blindly go nowhere. The circle doesn’t have to be very large to make a point, kick your ass and/or be entertaining. Remember that and stay light. Even the deaf know good music when they hear it.