You have to be clear that, often times, in fact almost always, despite your best efforts, perfection and success may elude you. So, the only way to stay anchored, and at peace with yourself and with your world, is to embrace what is. If you tried hard, if you put in your best, just celebrate the process of trying, of doing your best…leave the results and outcomes to Life. You can never get a perfect 10! And what you have is what it is. When you embrace this idea and live your Life, you will never be keyed up over the outcomes. You will enjoy the process, above all. And that is the key to your Happiness!
Adulting is serious stuff. Yes, it is cool to be independent and getting to do your own thing. But with freedom comes responsibility. Where you are not just responsible for taking care of yourself or earning enough to pay your bills, but you are also responsible for facing Life and dealing with its upheavals and surprises. There are no right or wrong ways to face Life. Everyone has to do what they believe they have to do at a particular moment and keep going. Eventually, you will figure out why what happened to you was part of your own myth unfolding. So, if you are a young adult and are up against a wall, keep the faith and keep walking. Doors will always open, the path will always appear...
Dealing with toxic people is an art that can be learnt. Whether it is in a family, among friends or at the workplace, exercise a choice to establish and maintain clear contours of your relationship with such people. Define very clearly in your mind what about this person irks you. And draw the line there. The point is not whether others can get along with such people, the point is that you cannot suffer them. So, when others ask you to be “adjusting”, you must tell them why you can’t do this – that it affects your inner peace. Once you define and draw the boundaries clearly, barring the initial settling in issues, pretty soon, everyone will see value in your approach. Clearly, there’s no point sacrificing your Happiness for another’s behavior or your reluctance to call them out!
Whatever be your current reality, you are never in conflict with it. Life is happening to you. And you are going with the flow. A health challenge, a break-up, the loss of a loved one, a career-related complication, a messy financial situation, whatever you are dealing with, you are doing pretty fine living with what is. However, the moment your mind plays up an expectation that your Life must be different from what it is now, suffering kicks in. So, clearly, suffering comes from expectations. And you cause your expectations. The solution, therefore, to avoid suffering is to drop all expectations. Embrace your current reality, do what you can do in the given context and keep moving…
Life serves us all wake-up calls at different times. Through experiences, events, conversations. You can surely turn off the alarm clock and go back to sleep, which is you can ignore the call, but you can’t deny that it is time you woke up. What is interesting is that if you don’t heed the wake-up call the first time, Life will come back and knock you on your head again and again. It is your choice to process that stimuli or not that makes all the difference.
Life is eventually about things, people, relationships, projects, opportunities money, health and even memories - all of them being taken away from you! Life is about constantly embracing new normals, it is about finding meaning, Purpose, beauty and Happiness in what is!