—Yo también siento haber perdido el control. No quiero organizar tu vida. Quiero que te hagas feliz. Eso me gustó. «Quiero que te hagas feliz» no era una promesa Disney de príncipes de cuento que velan por la felicidad de sus princesas. No era nada irreal. Era undeseo de carne y hueso, que me abrazaba con fuerza, que se preocupaba, viendo cómo yo me tambaleaba en una cuerda floja, entre hacer las cosas que quería y el miedo a no conseguirlas jamás
This is one of the marks of a truly safe person: they are confrontable.
Emotional self-defense... When you set healthier relationship standards in your life, some people will take it personally. That’s their issue, not yours. The distance isn’t against them; it’s for you. It’s a boundary, not a grudge.
We must not judge those whose shoes we are unable to walk in ourselves. Every human has an intuitive, guidance that is often clear to them but not to others
All this when I know human relationships are not founded on reason any more than my roses are fertilized with debate. I know seeking asylum behind the wall of intellect and rationality is a selfish retreating into self-protectiveness at the expense of another's well-being.
So often when we are unhappy it is becasue we are taking too much responsibility or we are taking too little. Instead of being assertive and choosing clearly for ourselves, we might become aggressive (choosing for others) or passive (letting others choose for us), or passive-aggressive (choosing for others by preventing them from achieving what they are choosing for themselves).