I'm going to sound like an egomaniac, but I'm proud of so many things. I feel proud of my book, 'I'm Just A Person,' proud of my HBO special. I'm proud of a lot of things.
I failed eighth grade twice, and then they moved me up to ninth grade. Then I failed that and dropped out. My teacher would hand me a test, and I'd grade it myself with an F, then put my head down on the desk.
It was a free-for-all with music when I was growing up. My mother was a huge music fanatic so I was listening to everything from country to heavy metal to Indigo Girls to Elton John. I guess when I was really young I didn't like Willie Nelson, and she obviously loved him. Now I do too, I'm so thankful to her for playing his music nonstop.
One of my favorite songs is 'Ghost' by Indigo Girls. Emily Saliers wrote that, and she is one of the most talented songwriters ever.
Sometimes I get a little exhausted by shows or movies that are constantly throwing famous people on. And I find it so much more exciting to not have that when I'm watching something. I think it allows you to get more lost in something and also to bring more attention to more unknown or less recognizable people.
I was very into animals and nature, and really obsessed with cats and monkeys. I used to play in the woods, wander off into the woods for hours. I'd bring a clipboard and think that I was doing some work out there, following the trails of raccoons or collecting bird feathers.
My mom was a freethinking artist - she was wild and would do anything to get a laugh from me. She'd go in reverse through a drive-through so I could order from the window: 'Hi, can I get a milk shake?'
I want to be silly, and that's being authentic just as much as being open and honest. It's authentic to make weird clown horn noises when it strikes you.
I was a full-blown tomboy; I was very mischievous and got into a lot of trouble. Everybody in my family smoked, and I started smoking probably when I was nine. My friends used to call me Huckleberry Tig.
As a kid, I loved Paula Poundstone and Richard Pryor. But my mother was a huge influence on my comedy.
I can't help but see things in life through a humorous lens, so anything that comes my way is gonna probably be, you know, bent in that direction.
It's almost embarrassing how much support I have. I mean, I always tell people I feel like I'm perfectly set up to have cancer. I have great health insurance, I have a savings account. I have work lined up. I have friends and family. I have the best doctors I can get.
I always think about the idea that God never gives you more than you can handle, and just the idea that God would be looking at me and thinking, 'Eh, I think she can handle more.' And the angels thinking, 'What are you doing? You're a lunatic.' And God being like, 'No, no, trust me. She can handle this.'
Before I had a double mastectomy, I was already pretty flat-chested, and I made so many jokes over the years about how small my chest was that I started to think that maybe my boobs overheard me... and were just like, 'You know what? We're sick of this. Let's kill her.'
A lot of times, people will have after-parties or try and host an event for comedians, and they misunderstand us. They think it should be wild and crazy, or loud music, and comedians are typically pretty mellow people that just want to talk to each other.
There's definitely been moments in my life, even recently, where I've taken chances or spoken up about something where I don't know how it's gonna go, but it is true, or it is my truth. That's kind of that trusting life.
I try not to look at my old stuff or my new stuff, really. I'm not a fan.
I definitely still like writing one-liners, but I also think that I've changed a lot in that I've allowed myself freedom to grow.
My career has always kind of moved forward and upward. I've never had anything kind of stall out or go in the opposite direction. I've always kind of been moving in the right direction.
I have somebody I admire and want to keep at a distance. I've had the opportunity to meet her a couple of times - it's Chrissie Hynde from The Pretenders. I just am nuts about her, but I have no interest in meeting her because I just don't think she could live up to what she's been to me in my head.