Analysing games on the TV is something that appeals to me, and anything where you watch football and get paid for it is not a bad living!
I once bought an ill-advised half cashmere, half camel hair jumper for £800, then ruined it by spilling a pint of Guinness all over it.
I did a paper round as a kid, but the early mornings were too much. My dad took it over, so I was getting paid 15 quid a week, but he was doing it!
Some people have never fancied me, but there have been plenty others who have backed me.
Tiger Woods and Roger Federer: those two are born winners.
I'd like to think I'm an approachable fella, and if someone wants me to pose for a picture, I'll always say 'yes' even when I'm with my family.
The Championship is a ferocious league, physically demanding, and it simply does not allow players the luxury of cruising through.
I once walked out of a nightclub with my team-mates to see our star midfielder reclining across the bonnet of a Ferrari, arms folded, waiting for girls to come out so he could wink at them and then progress it from there. I have no idea how long he'd been waiting. I do know it wasn't even his Ferrari.
I've got a good record, but maybe, for whatever reason, it's not built up by people. I wouldn't say I'm hard done by. But it's true that I sometimes don't get the praise.
In this age of social media, it is easy to punch out a phrase 'thoughts are with the family' when something bad occurs, and at times, it is insincere.
At first, I was overwhelmed at moving up to international level, but the England lads are top class at making you feel welcome.
I didn't come from a council estate like a lot of the lads do.
The kit man is the heartbeat of the football club, really. He knows the lads. He's usually local, a fan, and he's got his finger on the pulse of the dressing room.
I'll be walking down the street with a mate, and someone will stop and say 'All right Crouchy, how's things?' and so on. Once they're gone, the person I'm with will say 'Do you know them?' and I'll say 'I've never met them before in my life'. Happens all the time.
It's difficult for anyone to regard a place in the England starting line-up as their own. There's always someone looking to get ahead of you, and that's how it should be.
I've been promoted, relegated, won big trophies, gone months without scoring, played for my country at World Cups, been bought, sold, loaned, and called 'a freak.'
The lowest period was when I was with Tottenham, and they loaned me out to Dulwich Hamlet.
One thing that annoys me in football is when people get carried away by results after four or five weeks of a new season.
As for my personal ambitions, I always loved playing for England and always felt I did well.
I wouldn't want to get my pigeon chest out in front of anyone. I don't think the world needs it. I'd probably get a yellow card anyway.
