I'm very aware that you lead a very peculiar existence as a professional footballer, being flown everywhere first-class and never having to queue up for anything. Of course, that's attractive, but if you're not careful, you end up living in a world where nothing is really real.
I've never been renowned for electric pace. It doesn't seem to have held me back.
When I started out, nobody told you how to do an interview. That's how I ended up on the front page of a newspaper dressed as Rodney Trotter with a Reliant Robin.
When some kids get a sniff of the first team at a big club, you see them change. They can become big-time, especially so if they happen to be captain of the youth team.
Everyone that I have taken the mick out of, or told a story about, is someone I know properly or someone who has been a team-mate, and I know can take it. I am not stitching anyone up.
I have really got into watching the unsigned bands. They play mad venues like the Sugarmill in Stoke and all sorts of underground, grimy places.
I've been at Stoke for eight years... I think I've had the same towel for almost eight years.