A leader who is self-aware enough to know that he or she is not adept at everything is one who has taken the first step toward being a great leader.
When we stop thinking about ourselves, when we stop being so devoted to 'me,' we can start behaving in a way that actually benefits others!
If somebody is going in the wrong direction, behavioral coaching just helps them get there faster. It doesn't turn the wrong direction into the right direction.
In one of the largest studies ever done on the effects of executive coaching - over 70,000 respondents - we learned that the biggest mistake coaches make is in not following up. It didn't matter who the coach was or what method they used. Failing to follow up made any approach to coaching ineffective.
People that have integrity violations should be fired, not coached. How many integrity violations does it take to ruin the reputation of your company? Just one. You don't coach integrity violations. You fire them.
Coaching works best with high potential people who are willing to make a concerted effort to change, not as a religious conversion activity.
Gratitude is not a limited resource, nor is it costly. It is abundant as air. We breathe it in but forget to exhale.
I have a lot of deficiencies, but gratitude is not one of them.
When you're at the lower levels in the organization, you need to win and be right. But as you move up, you need to let other people win and be right, and become a manager and delegate responsibility.
If the CEO is not going to give you a fair chance, you're probably not going to win.
Americans get fatter and fatter and buy more and more diet books, but you don't lose weight by buying diet books - you go on a diet. It's easy to read a diet book, but it's hard to go on a diet.
I regard gratitude as an asset and its absence a major interpersonal flaw.
My job is to show my clients that their anger is rarely someone else's fault. It's their flaw.
We deify willpower and self-control - and mock its absence. People who achieve through remarkable willpower are 'strong' and 'heroic.' People who need help or structure are 'weak.' This is crazy - because few of us can accurately gauge or predict our willpower.
An excuse is the handy explanation we offer when we disappoint other people.
When we prolong negative behavior - the kind that hurts the people we love or the kind that hurts us in some way - we are leading a changeless life in the most hazardous manner. We are willfully choosing to be miserable and making others miserable, too.
Active questions are the alternative to passive questions. There is a huge difference between, 'Do you have clear goals?' and 'Did you do your best to set clear goals for yourself?' The former is trying to determine the employee's state of mind; the latter challenges the employee to describe or defend a course of action.
Our inner beliefs trigger failure before it happens. They sabotage lasting change by canceling its possibility. We employ these beliefs as articles of faith to justify our inaction and then wish away the result. I call them belief triggers.
All of us have people in our lives who drive us crazy. We've spent hours reliving the unfair, unappreciative, inconsiderate treatment they have inflicted on us. But getting mad at this person makes just about as much sense as getting mad at a chair for being a chair.
To me, the #1 key to success is 'creating lasting positive change in yourself and others.' That is what is most rare, most difficult, and most valuable about leading people.
