Anything that's for free, people will take. They don't discriminate.
Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on!
Let's not forget, I got divorced.
My defensiveness in life really helps me as a driver.
Even back then, I exuded self-confidence, and that drives women crazy.
There are times when I'm driving home after a day's shooting, thinking to myself, That scene would've been so much better if I had written it out.
I'm still driving a Prius, yeah.
I'm not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.
And eventually as I kept writing it, something emerged that was not quite me but a version of me.
There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation.
I'm a walking, talking enigma.
I still think of that guy I was without a wife or kids, and I still want to entertain that guy. The lonely guy, the frustrated guy, the guy with no money - this is the guy who needs to laugh.
Sometimes I have these fantasies of just moving to a foreign country and coming back with a full head of hair. Or not even come back! Make a new life there with hair... Change my name, just see what happens.
I just feed off the energy of the audience.
I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter.
I was very fortunate to hook up with Jerry in the first place. The network was already committed to doing something with him, so I skipped a couple of hundred steps right there.
If I tried to flirt with a woman and she didn't know who I was, she would run away.
Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to look at myself in the mirror.
If I wasn't a golfer, I would still be miserable - but not as miserable.
I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.
