Some sarcasm is best told simply.
My main goal is to be a self-made man and have control over what's mine.
My son is becoming me - just a silly, silly prankster guy.
The day you stop doing the small things is the day you think you're above everybody else.
The second time around, I'll understand that, as a husband, my wife doesn't care about my opinions. I just need to tell her the things that will continue to help me stack the brownie points.
I stayed true to my dreams and, eventually, they came true.
A lot of blood, sweat, and tears have gone into this career of mine.
It's a well-known fact that tall people are evil.
I was probably tall as a child, but I just stopped growing.
The one thing about the business of entertainment is that you have to learn patience.
I don't need therapy. I'm not going to see a therapist; comedy acts as my therapy. I put my problems out there. I talk about them. I talk about everything before anybody has a chance.
When you have box-office results, Hollywood treats you different. Hollywood stands up. Once you get to the point where Hollywood sees that you create results, then the demand for you becomes higher.
This younger generation that's around, that's tweeting, Facebooking and Vine-ing, the fans appreciate that because they feel like they can get to you.
I don't use Twitter for bad.
My daughter doesn't even get my humor. She's like, 'Um, no. I don't get it, Dad. Mmm, no, not that one, Dad.'
An unemployed court jester is nobody's fool.
My upbringing was solid because of the people I had around me.
I didn't want to lift weights and get all big; I just wanted to get cut.
