The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that Man is the more laughable of the two animals.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.
Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost.
There is no exception to the rule that every rule has an exception.
But what is all this fear of and opposition to Oblivion? What is the matter with the soft Darkness, the Dreamless Sleep?
Man has gone long enough, or even too long, without being man enough to face the simple truth that the trouble with man is man.
Sixty minutes of thinking of any kind is bound to lead to confusion and unhappiness.
The nation that complacently and fearfully allows its artists and writers to become suspected rather than respected is no longer regarded as a nation possessed with humor or depth.
Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.
I'm 65 and I guess that puts me in with the geriatrics. But if there were fifteen months in every year, I'd only be 48. That's the trouble with us. We number everything. Take women, for example. I think they deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of 28 and 40.
I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere.