Many a man that couldn't direct ye to th' drug store on th' corner when he was thirty will get a respectful hearin' when age has further impaired his mind.
You can lead a man up to the university, but you can't make him think.
No matter whether the Constitution follows the flag or not, the Supreme Court follows the election returns.
An appeal is when ye ask wan court to show its contempt for another court.
What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.
A man's idee in a card game is war- crool, devastatin' and pitiless. A lady's idee iv it is a combynation iv larceny, embezzlement an' burglary.
A firm belief atthracts facts. They come out iv holes in the ground an' cracks in th' wall to support belief, but they run away fr'm doubt.
Comfort the afflicted, and afflict the comfortable.
The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.
Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.
Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed be the facts.
There ain't any news in being good. You might write the doings of all the convents of the world on the back of a postage stamp, and have room to spare.
There are no friends at cards or world politics.
A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable.