Grown-up parties are so dull they make me want to throw a tantrum and hurl red wine on the nearest cream-damask armchair.
Weddings happen once. That's the point. They're a bluster of confetti and hope all wrapped up in sticky wedding cake and four-year-old girls in big dresses with massive bows.
Facebook is the first class of social networking. If MySpace is Camden Lock then Facebook is Harvey Nichols.
Sex and the City: The Movie' - a bit like the All Saints comeback, and the return of the Jammy Dodger, it feels a little staged and all wrong.
There's nothing quite as perfect as going to a dark room where you can eat fattening food next to the man you love. OK. All right. Like. The man you like.
Being hummed at by someone with magic hands while they knead your neck is good for the soul, but it won't make you giggle for days afterwards. In fact, the second the smiley therapist stops and says, 'You can put your robe on now, the hour is up,' the joy and wonder sort of leaves the room.
I find it alarming that people are so convinced they're the best at anything - presenting, hairdressing, getting dressed.
Who actually enjoys skiing? Come on, even Olympic ski masters, even James Bond, think that dressing up in all that fluorescent, insulated kit and having to manoeuvre down a mountain in the freezing cold is no way to spend leisure time.
You've never met anyone who likes Christmas more than me. I go quite Liberace. My kids have all got stick-on antlers.
I loved 'Life is Beautiful' and action films are great, like 'Die Hard.' My favourite is the mob film - 'Goodfellas,' 'The Godfather,' 'Once Upon a Time In America,' anything with Robert De Niro in it.
A dark room with some low-level whale music and a flat bed and a woman pulling your shoulder back and forth is a happy place.
Yes, of course I love little Sarah Jessica Parker. I love the fact that when she accepts awards, she thanks everyone she's ever met and inanimate objects that have 'been kind to her.' And I love the fact that she hasn't had a flesh-coloured mole removed from her forehead (I'm not making it up; have a closer look next time she's on the screen).
I love skiing. What on earth have I been doing on a beach all this time? I mean, that's for morons - you can get sunburn and really damage yourself.
I don't think I'd get employed if I did pastel eye and a side parting. People would say: 'Get someone else for the job!'
There's no fun in relationships. OK - that's not strictly true. I will agree that the first bit can be not totally unpleasant. There's the initial meeting and the heart quickening and the stomach-churning excitement of it all.
Rodents are pests and not pets, and anything that manically runs around a wheel 24/7 and occasionally has 19 babies in the middle of the night should not be brought into the house.
Things I am allergic to: people who believe in star signs and think nothing of starting a conversation with: 'Hi, my name's Lucy. I'm a Sagittarius;' rodents (apart from miniature hamsters, which are not in fact rodents but small, breathing, brown balls of cotton wool); and people who go to the gym.
Men fill up their heads and drawers and sheds with stuff from their teenage years.
My mum raised me in a home without mirrors. She's a staunch feminist and wanted us to know that what we look like is the least interesting thing about us.
Stockings are tricky for girls - you worry about them falling down all night and the idea that you dress up at 7pm so that your boyfriend can get excited about six hours later is just too much effort.
