I love Mickey Mantle. Would I have felt the same if I had known when I was eight years old what I know now?
In my standup work, I always do these characters, older people who are just off to the side. It's easier to write a story about the guy who made it to the top, but the middle is so much more interesting, so much more murky.
There used to be that you only had four or five critics that you would look to for intelligent conversation, but now there are millions of people who can just press 'send,' and everyone's got an opinion even if no one cares what they say. It makes things a little bit tougher.
When I was about 21 and just about to get out of college at NYU, Vietnam was raging, and I was a frustrated musician for a little bit.
Your success is in your point of view. It's your life that you're talking about; it's your observations. That's the best lesson that I ever had.
My older brother Joel became an art teacher; my brother Rip ultimately became a television producer and singer and actor himself.
When I was growing up in the house, we'd watch the Oscars.
'Parental Guidance' combines comedy and pathos in the best way.
President Clinton knew the course and goes, 'Here's what you want to do here.' By the fourth hole, you wanted to hit him with your putter.
I never missed a birthday. I never missed a school play. We carpooled. And the greatest compliment I can ever get is not about my career or performance or anything; it's when people say, 'You know, your girls are great.' That's the real thing for me.
I've said, I never thought I rebelled. I never - I don't think I've ever had that period. You know, I just had to do what I had to do. You know, I was a good kid.
I don't know what I would have done to rebel. I don't know what I was rebelling against.
Rehearsals are for gags.
My mind is always going. I'm always thinking what I need to do, what I haven't done, what I did do, what I didn't do as well as I could - I'm relentless that way with myself.
That whole concept of 'I want to really go after people' - I don't understand that. Is it a roast, or is it an awards show?
The truth is, in this age of Instagram and Facebook and Snapchat, we know way too much about athletes - and it's their fault.
You have to really respect what your kids are doing with their kids and how they're raising them. You can't push your way into areas where you shouldn't be saying anything. You have to always remember they're not your own kids. Play with them, love them, spoil them to death - then hand them back.
Two things I really wanted to be: a stand-up comic or a New York Yankee - or a really funny New York Yankee.
What's so fascinating and frustrating and great about life is that you're constantly starting over, all the time, and I love that.
To me, little Mike Wazowski is one of the best characters I ever got to play because he was funny. He was outrageous. He got angry. He was romantic. He was a full, well-rounded character.