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love life inspirational humor philosophy god inspirational truth wisdom romance poetry death happiness hope faith writing inspiration religion success relationships life-lessons motivational time knowledge love spirituality science books educationChoosing a person to marry is hence just a matter of deciding exactly what kind of suffering we want to endure rather than of assuming we have found a way to skirt the rules of emotional existence. We will all by definition end up with that stock character of our nightmares, βthe wrong person.β This neednβt be a disaster, however. Enlightened romantic pessimism simply assumes that one person canβt be everything to another. We should look for ways to accommodate ourselves as gently and as kindly as we can to the awkward realities of living alongside another fallen creature. There can only ever be a βgood enoughβ marriage. For this realization to sink in, it helps to have had a few lovers before settling down, not in order to have had a chance to locate βthe right person,β but in order to have had an ample opportunity to discover at first hand, and in many different contexts, the truth that there isnβt any such a person; that everyone really is a bit wrong when considered from close up.