When asked to borrow money: "I'll see what my lawyer says. . . . And if he says yes, I'll get another lawyer."
Never give a sucker an even break.
If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes.
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
I'd like to see Paris before I die... Philadelphia will do.