Men in high levels of government seldom surf.
Liberals think you can reform an ax murderer. They don't want to kill anything. They want to change the Listerine labels to "Rehabilitate the germs that cause bad breath."
A politician is a person who can make waves and then make you think he's the only one who can save the ship.
A conservative is a Democrat who's been mugged. I think we should just tip the government if it does a good job. Fifteen percent is the standard tip, isn't it?
I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is - I could be just as proud for half the money.
I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?
Vice president: A spare tire on the automobile of government.
Harold Wilson is going around the country stirring up apathy.
The prerequisites for being in the diplomatic corps are the ability to handle protocol, alcohol, and Geritol.
As a politician he does everything to keep out of trouble, often by not asking questions. However, it does bother him that every time the doorbell rings his maid hides in the dryer.
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.
He is so aware of being politically correct he refers to a taco as Hispanic food.
I don't pick on politicians. They ain't done nothin'.
When I was a boy, I was told that anybody could become president. I'm beginning to believe it.
Elections in L.A. are so different. Here you've got politicians with phony smiles making false promises to voters with fake boobs and bad toupees.
What obstructs the vision and is called smog in our big cities is called defining the issues in politics
Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by the traffic from both sides.
The public is very fickle, as I was saying to my cabdriver, Gerald Ford.
It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember.
They pick a president, and then for four years they pick on him.