'Love Story' is actually about a guy that I almost dated. But when I introduced him to my family and my friends, they all said they didn't like him. All of them!
I dated this guy who literally would never eat a single vegetable. I was like, 'This is terrible. You eat like a five-year-old.'
Personally, I don't like a girlfriend to have a husband. If she'll fool her husband, I figure she'll fool me.
When you really don't like a guy, they're all over you, and as soon as you act like you like them, they're no longer interested.
Stories are hard. I have friends who knock out stories on a weekly or monthly basis, like they're running on medicinal-strength Updike. But for me a story is as daunting a prospect as a novel.
I like Daughtry, I like Nickelback, I like Dave Matthews. I like Beyonce - she's a really good entertainer.
There's this new band that just started with us called the Dave Matthews Band. My God! I mean, I like those guys. Plus, Dave Matthews looks just like Forrest Gump.
A lot like Dave Matthews or John Mayer, I kind of stick with the acoustic genre.
I'm a magician, like David Blaine. I could never fall.
I'm a big Otis Redding fan, Al Green, Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye. My hero is David Bowie. But I like the Beatles, the Stones.
The choices politicians make must be based on values - not an arbitrary, axe-wielding approach to public spending or a dismal exchange between Gordon Brown and David Cameron about percentages that sounds like an argument between different book-keepers.
I would be so mad if I saw something called a memoir, and then it was Mike Birbiglia. It would be so infuriating. It's like, 'Who is this guy, and why does he have a memoir?' David Letterman could write a memoir. Joan Rivers could. I'm just a nobody. I'm a comedian and a writer.
I'd like to see David Letterman adopt the inclusion rider on his Netflix show.
David Lynch is like that - every sound, every detail to the end of making the film, he never gives up. It has to be perfect.
I think early on in my career, I was heavily inspired by bands like Throbbing Gristle and Test Dept, and films of David Lynch, for example, where the soundscape plays a very important role in the listening experience.
The thing that interested me, there are so many filmmakers I admire - like David Lynch and Quentin Tarantino - they have these themes where there's not much going on, but they were suspenseful.
I've worked with some of the best of them. Not just directors like Sam Peckinpah and David Lynch, but writers like Sam Shepard and singers like Bob Dylan, Willie Nelson, and Kris Kristofferson.
Khaki trousers soon became the province of hipsters like Jack Kerouac and Miles Davis. They were taken to new heights by Ralph Lauren, who helped popularize them among college professors and preppy men.
I think it's dawning on some Democrats that obstructing the Patriot Act, like they've been obstructing everything else, is bad for them politically.
I came in the Dawson's Creek era; it was all about tiny guys who looked like teenagers, and I haven't looked like a teenager ever. So I was, like, auditioning to be their dads. At 25.
