It was admitted by the early rabbis that the sectarians could be as full of good works as eggs were full of meat.
I was not comfortable worshipping another Jew.
To change, to convert? Why bother?
I didn't want to be on the losing side. I was fed up with Jewish weakness, timidity and fear. I didn't want any more Jewish sentimentality and Jewish suffering. I was sickened by our sad songs.
I still go to a Christian priory for retreats.
An aged rabbi, crazed with liberalism, once said to me, We Jews are just ordinary human beings. Only a bit more so!