A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.