All my interesting stories are from before I was on television. Nothing interesting has happened to me since then. Maybe it's because the most interesting thing in my life is the show and that's on telly.
It's amazing how I can just ramble on for hours, isn't it? And so unentertaining or uninteresting. But I can ramble on for hours. It's a sort of terrible gift, isn't it?
It sounds deeply shallow, but for brief spells every member of the public can be fascinating.
Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch.
If you'd told the young Graham Norton that I'd one day have this amount of money, I'd have assumed it would have come from a lottery win.
My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule.