I got players with bad watches - they can't tell midnight from noon.
The Yankees don't pay me to win every day, just two out of three.
The trouble with women umpires is that I couldn't argue with one. I'd put my arms around her and give her a little kiss.
I don't know if he throws a spitball but he sure spits on the ball.
Don't cut my throat, I may want to do that later myself.
Never make predictions, especially about the future.