TV family sitcoms have always been about fathers who know best and mothers who are so enchanted with everything they do. I wanted to be the first mom to be a mom on TV. I wanted to sent out a message about how us women really feel.
I know that I pay 48 percent of my income to taxes. You know, I wouldn't mind so much if it wasn't going just to export war. If it was actually going to help the people of the United States, I would gladly pay more.
I want to eat, cook, meet famous people and make fun of them.
Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?
Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, gave me increased perspective on gender issues, as it also did my gay brother and my lesbian sister. Our younger sister is the perfect Jewish-American wife and mother, and is fiercely proud of that fact.
One of the first things I bought when I made 'Roseanne Show' money was a farm in Iowa.
My real life is funnier than anything on TV.
I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny. And I discovered a lot of great writers that went on to do a lot of great shows like 'Seinfeld,' 'Friends,' you know, 'Three and a Half Men.'
I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'
I gave Joss Whedon and Judd Apatow their first writing jobs, as well as many other untried writers who went on to great success.
I always had a dissociative disorder. But I healed from it over the course of 14 years of big-time therapy. But, you know, I mean, everybody's kind of loony now. So I was kind of a pioneer in the mental illness thing, too.
I was not raised a Zionist, but a socialist, as were most Jews before the Holocaust.
I want to say that nobody accuses their parents of abusing them without justification to do that. I didn't just make it up. A lot of things were true and abusive and horrible things that happened to me that my father did.
As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That's what we're supposed to do. But I not only ask the questions, I offer solutions.
I think I'm hysterical. I watch myself on tape and just roar - isn't that weird?
To say that I have an undisciplined mind would not be incorrect overall, but it's a little off the mark because I have great discipline when I write - but only for about ten minutes.
The end of my addiction to fame happened at the exact moment 'Roseanne' dropped out of the top ten, in the seventh of our nine seasons. It was mysteriously instantaneous!
I'm very introspective, and I mostly don't talk to people. I get into a real quiet, meditative place.
After my 1985 appearance on 'The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson,' I was wooed by producers in Hollywood, who told me they wanted to turn my act into a sitcom.
