I loved being near you. Even though I felt that bubble you had around you, even though I never quite knew what you were thinking, damn, did I love being near you. Somehow, I knew you would rip me apart and drown me. Somehow, I knew we wouldn’t last. It didn’t matter. You were my sun. I loved feeling you upon me, around me, between me. Even though you could only love me from a distance, I didn’t care. I never felt more warmth inside of me than when you were against me.
Love was feeling the person everywhere, under your skin, in every strand of your hair, in your heart, in your bones, in the tone of your voice when you said their name. Love wasn’t always about being with the person, it was feeling that your world was better just because they lived. Even if you weren’t ever going to be together, he was the air you breathed, invisible but everywhere.
Hope can have sharp edges as it leaves you.
Humans often thought the glass was empty when there was still more in there. I guess if you reached deep enough, you could find something even when there seemed to be nothing left. I always did.
I think when we love people we offer them the opportunity to break the barriers that prevent them from finding the love they deserve.
It’s hard to let go, especially after you’ve invested a few years. It’s hard to let go of who we imagined someone else was too. You loved him so you overlooked all the thing that were obvious to everyone around you. We all do it.
Sometimes I miss you, which is strange, because you weren't at all the way I remember you.
I can’t reconcile who he was, the man who was so kind and loving and considerate, with who he is now. I know the truth is who I’m seeing now, but I keep hoping the former man will come back. It’s like I love someone who doesn’t even exist.
Don’t blame yourself. You believed what he told you, because you trusted him. You’re a warm, open, trusting person. And you’re trustworthy. Trustworthy people like us always get screwed, because we expect other people to be like us. Don’t let his bad behavior make you question yourself.
Humans were always trying to fit in. Many of them didn’t feel like they belonged. When someone came along and was brave enough to show the truth of who they were, flaws and all, it could inspire others to accept themselves as they were.
Maybe my fear wasn’t that he couldn’t sustain emotional intimacy, but that he could. Maybe the scariest relationships were the ones where both people wanted to be close.
You will always be my first love. My first everything. No love will be like the one I had for you, but I think the loves that come afterward can be just as good and most of the time better, because we are better. I was jealous when you first started dating her, because I could tell she was different. I kept wondering what she had that I didn’t, but it wasn’t her that was different, it was you.
Love should be easy. Life is hard. Relationships are complicated. But the love, that’s the one thing we should be able to count on.
Maybe there are some people you can’t unlove no matter how hard you try. Maybe there are some people you stay connected to, because they’ve hurt you to your very core. You keep hoping that somehow the pain can be resolved if they finally do the right thing, but the right thing can never be done because it had to have been done in the past.
Maybe we love people forever. Maybe some relationships were derailed by time and circumstance, but somewhere in the background there was a place where that love still existed, where you were still those two people in that time.
It’s unfortunate that inflated self-worth is being mistaken for confidence when it’s really an indication of the opposite. True confidence is reflected through humility, vulnerability and kindness. It’s quiet. It’s subtle. It does not overwhelm. It does not shrink others down to elevate oneself and it doesn’t not knock others down to give the illusion of being above.
I’ve always been so full of melancholy. But I’ve realized it’s because I’m alive. I’m open. I feel. I carry all things in my heart and sometimes I mistake the weight of it for heaviness when it’s really fullness.
He couldn't give me what I wanted, because he didn't have it to give. I saw an ideal of him and kept trying to get him to fit that mold because I didn't want to let go of the illusion of who he was.
Sometimes you have to go back to the beginning to see how you want your story to end.
I rested my chin on my paws, wondering if she’d ever be able to open her heart to another man-human. I knew firsthand how hard it was to try again, to let yourself be loved by someone who could love you back after you’d been hurt. And I knew sometimes when someone said mean things if you were sensitive you couldn’t shake it no matter how much you knew it wasn’t the truth.