If Sunday is the Lord's day, then Saturday belongs to the Devil. It is the only night of the week when he gives out Free passes to the Late show at the Too Much Fun Club.
The person who doesn't scatter the morning dew will not comb gray hairs.
Quacks are a part of our culture, and we all fall prey to them. Who among us can say, for sure, that even our own personal physicians are honest and competent?
Going to trial with a lawyer who considers your whole life-style a Crime in Progress is not a happy prospect.
Politics is the art of controlling your environment.
The mind of America is seized by a fatal dry rot - and it's only a question of time before all that the mind controls will run amuck in a frenzy of stupid, impotent fear.
No man is so foolish but he may sometimes give another good counsel, and no man so wise that he may not easily err if he takes no other counsel than his own. He that is taught only by himself has a fool for a master.
Some may never live, but the crazy never die.
Nixon was a crook, of course, but he was also a rabid football fan - and he knew the game, which still astounds me, but I have always had a soft spot for him because of it.
Nixon was so crooked that he needed servants to help him screw his pants on every morning.
The TV business is uglier than most things. It is normally perceived as some kind of cruel and shallow money trench through the heart of the journalism industry, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs, for no good reason.
The Raiders of old were vicious and crazy and cruel. Hanging around their locker room was like hanging around the weight room at Folsom Prison.
Football fans share a universal language that cuts across many cultures and many personality types. A serious football fan is never alone. We are legion, and football is often the only thing we have in common.
I have never believed much in luck, and my sense of humor has tended to walk on the dark side.
One of the most basic factors in sports is that winning becomes a habit, and losing is the same way. When failure starts to feel normal in your life or your work or even your darkest vices, you won't have to go looking for trouble, because trouble will find you. Count on it.
As long as I'm learning something, I figure I'm OK - it's a decent day.
Nixon represents that dark, venal and incurably violent side of the American character almost every other country in the world has learned to fear and despise.
The world is still a weird place, despite my efforts to make clear and perfect sense of it.
I hate pain, despite my ability to tolerate it beyond all known parameters, which is not necessarily a good thing.
Freedom is something that dies unless it's used.