One thing that I tell people all the time is, 'I'm not going to answer a call from you after nine o'clock at night or before nine o'clock in the morning unless it's an emergency.'
I think our capacity for wholeheartedness can never be greater than our willingness to be broken-hearted. It means engaging with the world from a place of vulnerability and worthiness.
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do 'faith.'
Vulnerability is basically uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.
I love to take, process and share photos - it fills me up.
First and foremost, we need to be the adults we want our children to be. We should watch our own gossiping and anger. We should model the kindness we want to see.
The moment someone asks you to do something you don't have the time or inclination to do is fraught with vulnerability.
The uncertainty of parenting can bring up feelings in us that range from frustration to terror.
Through my research, I found that vulnerability is the glue that holds relationships together. It's the magic sauce.
The best marriages are the ones where we can go out in the world and really put ourselves out there. A lot of times we'll fail, and sometimes we'll pull it off. But good marriages are when you can go home and know that your vulnerability will be honored as courage, and that you'll find support.
Social media has given us this idea that we should all have a posse of friends when in reality, if we have one or two really good friends, we are lucky.
I hesitate to use a pathologizing label, but underneath the so-called narcissistic personality is definitely shame and the paralyzing fear of being ordinary.
Ironically, parenting is a shame and judgment minefield precisely because most of us are wading through uncertainty and self-doubt when it comes to raising our children.
What's the greater risk? Letting go of what people think - or letting go of how I feel, what I believe, and who I am?
I carry a small sheet of paper in my wallet that has written on it the names of people whose opinions of me matter. To be on that list, you have to love me for my strengths and struggles.
We use work to numb out. We can't turn off our machines because we're afraid we're going to miss something.
As a shame researcher, I know that the very best thing to do in the midst of a shame attack is totally counterintuitive: Practice courage and reach out!
Shame is the most powerful, master emotion. It's the fear that we're not good enough.
Vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous.
I'm like a recovering perfectionist. For me it's one day at a time.